controlling my need to control...

I wonder, as a mom, why I sometimes have a hard time just sitting back and letting my girls become their own person. I struggle with this the most with Kynlea because she is so opposite of what I am. I struggle to find the balance between what I want for her and what she wants. I often struggle just trying to figure her out. I love her so very much, I just don't always know what is the right thing to do for her.

My baby princess is turning three in one month. I love love love my kid's birthdays-they are my favorite days of the year-I love planning and throwing them the parties that they want. I've been accused of going overbored, but I just love to do it!

Emi has never had a store bought cake-wait-I take that back...when she was three, she had a strawberry shortcake party and I bought a cake-she still reminds me that I didn't love her at her third bday and that's why I bought her cake...Emi loves bday parties as much as I do-she gets way into it-comes up with fabulous themes, and we have a great time planning-she is such a princess-I've raised her well-LOL!

Kynlea could not be more opposite! She HATES attention! Doesn't like too many people, doesn't like too much noise, doesn't want to open gifts in front of people...she is so anti-party! I first saw this at her first birthday when she completely melted down and my mom ended up hanging out with her in the pool alone because Kynlea couldn't deal. It took 3 days to get her gifts opened-she was not even a little impressed. Last year was no different. She loves Elmo, so we planned a huge sesame street party, had her favorite balloon guy make her Elmo balloons, played games, etc-again she hated it! Wanted no part of the attention-she may have been tramatized...

This year her heart is set on having a Go Diego Go party. She loves him-not Dora, Diego. So I sit, planning a "boy" party, that is low on the party like elements, and trying to make it the perfect party for my anti-princess. Although in my heart I want to go all out, I will listen to my little girl and plan a party that SHE will love. Complete with a bouncy house, a chocolate Diego cake, some fruit, no meat, no games, minimal decorations, and a very low key time that will not cause my baby girl any stress. I will fight my instinct to make her the center of attention that day and just let her play. It will be perfect for her.

And in September, when Emi turns 8, I will go ALL out ;-)

blessed!

Whew-what a week! And it's only Thursday! I think I've learned more this week alone, than I have in the last five years of my life...

I've learned that I don't handle stress all that well. I'm not talking about everyday, meet the deadline, got alot on my plate stress-that I am good at. I'm talking REAL stress-can't control, feeling helpless, only thing to do is get on your knees and pray stress-this stress I do not handle well AT ALL!

I've learned that I am friends with one amazing woman! A woman who has dealt with more in her 35 years than some people twice her age. This woman does what needs to be done, rolls with the punches, and comes out a better person for it. She is stronger than I could ever be, and she has proved it over and over again-this week alone!

I've also learned that I am not that bad of a friend...over the past couple of years I've questioned this some. And I could always be a better friend. But ya know what, almost everyone who has really been important in my life-through elementary school, high school, college, etc...are still around-heck I even married one of them. Which makes me think, I'm either not a terrible friend, or I choose to be around some of the most forgiving, awesomest people ever!

I've learned that a wine cooler by the pool on a hot afternoon is quite refreshing! I knew this MANY years ago, but forgot-thanks for reminding me mom! Am I going to start buying BnJ four packs and drinking them around all of my friends-no. But they can be a nice change-LOL

I've learned that Tyler is really a responsible kid, with a good head on his shoulders-I kinda knew this one already, but he continues to prove me right.

I've learned that Emi has a good grasp of God and heaven. And that she loves God! I am SO thankful for this!

I've learned that Kynlea has some pretty sweet moves-next time you see her, ask her to show you her "spinkler". I predict "so you think you can dance" in her future...

I've learned that you can NEVER been to protective of your children-it only takes a second for them to get seriously hurt.

I've learned that in a split second, your whole life can change. And your priorities can completely shift

I've learned that people are good. People love children-even children they don't know. People will take time to pray for a precious little boy that they don't know, and for his family. They don't need details, they don't need credit, they just do it because they are good.

And most importantly, this week I have learned that the power of prayer is awesome! I believe in God, and I trust God, but man this week, I have seen what happens when people put it in God's hands and let him take control! And I am SOOOOO thankful for Him and you guys for being warriors this week!

I have cried my eyes out this week. I have kissed my kids more than usual this week. I have prayed harder this week than I have in years. I have sat, still, quiet, and reflected-something I am not good at. I have been a sappy mess.

I am blessed-the people I love are blessed! God is so good!!!

And this weekend, I get to watch my princesses be in my cousin's wedding. The same cousin who was in my wedding almost 11 years ago, who's mom's wedding I was in, and who's mom was in my mom's wedding-thank goodness we all had girls! I love tradition! I love weddings! I love my wonderful life!

I am blessed!